its only words...

the west coast rain did not deter me from throwing myself up in front of the tatterdaemons.

i stand up silently inside my tattered camp.the armour has been too heavy.i let it lie there.the dry zephyr assists the edged blade to get itself off the thin film of blood over it.bugs entrail up to my feet.their flesh feast has started just now.but it'd been over since long for me...

with loose skin dangling,i walk out of my tent.the field wore a beautiful crimson red horizon.a few ravens flyin low blurred the vision.i hit on a low note and murmer along a song as i walk past the limbs;the torso lies there cryin red saliva for it has been betrayed by the limbs.something hurts me on the back..ah! the slit left by the henchmen.the hench-fucking-men.the red rays of the far away sun shimmer on my red skin.my iris closes its door to the brightness.a trance of darkness engulfs me for a moment.and i can't forget,can't forgive for what they did here to me....

...it was seven in the morning.i was gettin ready for my daily workout in this mechanised realm.i heard the doorbell ring.and they dragged me right in front of everyone and skinned my knees.i pushed him but they hit me hard and pulled me by the collar.i got no answers to my screaming fuckin' questions.i had never seen them.for they weren't the regular sapiens.they were different..yeah they were 'something' else.i was hit on with weapons on the field.hustled was i,still made to take the stabs.he stabbed me deep.i dragged on his men and scratched out his skin.churned one's skull with the .9mm scorpio caliber.the metal chunk helped me to multiply his body into pieces.spear across my bosom...i tried my best to make him kiss the dust and fuck his sweat.two of the men grabbed me and stole away one of my pupil.blood took the place of tears.the maggots glued me to the crust and broke my bones.i fucked retaliated heavily.they can't just take away my limbs...and there they lie fucked up.no limbs,lolla asshole dickhead bastards.
"you think you can just feast on my flesh whenever that sick satan orders you to.you think you can take her away from me.you fuckin think that you won't allow me to run up to my dear just to watch if she's ok or not.i'll run.if not.i'll crawl.even then if i don't then i'll drag these two given skin carpeted legs till their bones caress the streets.you thin i'll die without lettin her know that i love her.you fuckin think that i'm a bastard.damn you rusts,holy jesus fucking christ.i'll save myself till her next breath.and i'll survive in this desert of love,in this world of grins drinkin' your dirty blood,chewing your frailed up skin...dangling losers!stay away from my beloved...."
and the sword went on a tour of his anatomy.he fell down.his last breath was heavy.
i killed him.

...the sun had been gobbled up by the horizon.it was late dusk hour.and i stand here in the dusk hour.for its the hour of the defeated.i watch my shadow going upagainst me.he's pointing at me and accusing me of homicide.nature tries to define serenity.the silence drools over my belief.broken promises and crusted faith try to seek redemption for me.a resurrection unseen,i relax for a while.the entourage of a deep dark introspection leads me to hear my tru callin'.i see my corpse making love to the battlefield.i walk away from my corpse.in my wait for death to come to it...
it doesn't.

a night train to lisbon

“live a few hours more”,saying this Edwards handed me over the ticket and ofcourse the bag that tended to wear the color that I wore. Black. The bag had all that I’d asked for. Carrying Edwards’ non-chalant look I moved swiftly away makin’ him smaller in my optical dimensions.
The terminal was crowded even as my clock ticked eleven. The platform lights shine on their inventors. People hush around with baggage bigger than themselves, some just rest and some have their fill. And still the rest, like me, wonder what it is like being a traveler. My train will be here within the next ten minutes.
I allow myself to rest against the window pane. A teen sits across me. And so does his iPod. On my right is a woman who seems to increase a lot of companies’ revenues. Enough of the outside world but then that’s what I’m good at. Observance. The glass welcomes my iris to call out to the fast flyin’ trees. The distant sky brushes past the darkness at points where the stars shine. It was this dark that night.
(A night before…)
The parapet sheltered me from the rain. His Ford stood beside me. I needed to get into his basement so that I can create my reaver, my soul reaver. Crawling low onto the low-lying steps, I break into the basement. It’s kinda warm here. Broken tables and strange dummies lie around. Well I got no time to scoop around. I open up my bag. And the creation begins.
The metal crank on the base, the shuttle load over it, insert the capsule, screw in on the lens, align the finished end, cap the hold behind and forget you’re a human. I’m ready. Yeah, lite up the cigarette too.
Stealthly, after breaking into his restroom, I assume he must be havin’ a dive in his in-den swimming pool. The kind rich asses like him do to fight the chillin’ cold outside. I climb up to his changing room, hey! He’s coming perhaps. Uh! I’m a bit early in my assumption. I make myself thin against the wall. My ears say he’s changing. Yeah yeah after sometime you’ve to strip down all your possessions and serve in hell. Practice well.
From my lens cover, he seems to be enjoying the warm water float. A pull of the trigger and I can say I love her still. I can kiss her breath again, the games she played with the zephyr will again be mine and we can take time to drop Ethan at the university.
An acute angle of 37 degrees, 21 feet away. The red dot is on his head. A pull of the trigger. The red color is painted on his head.
I come out to see the rain Gods still dancing. My sweat joins in with them. Killing creatures does make us sweat. Carrying my bag, with my creation inside, I join the noctornos and curses keep pouring down. The silence shields me. The splatter cries foul and I keep walking on with her face calling me.
After an hour, I reached her office, all dressed up, to make my confessions. In the elevator I kept pinning my tie perfectly on. I look at my shoes, they shine well.
The next twenty minutes saw me running right back in the rain to the same place where I just had been an hour before. The receptionist had said that she’d received a call and she’d to rush back home. And what was home exactly, I mean she was alone as much as I knew. Maybe I got the wrong add but my back call returned the same answer. And now I stand near the same street light where I was dropped at by my paycheckers. The yellow line had been rounded up, the police sirens were low allowing me to hear her cry. She was covered in a blanket but why was she crying…did i..no. she was crying the way she’d cried in my arms when we’d met after months. She cried the way she‘d just lost the reason of her existence. She cried so cause the person near me told that they were to marry the next week. There were no thunders. I don’t move. But she does and too far away she moves …
(a night after…)
A decade under the influence of broken promises and gifted curses, I’d never known that I would come to end her life all over again. Never knew my last staunch to be human would leave me with memories too heavy to carry. The trees keep running fast. The iPod is sleeping with its owner.
I arrived at Lisbon at three o’clock.
I tread on, knowing not if the bullet hit him hard or me, with the my bag in hand.
Ethan must be sleeping. Let him.

sapiens

THE COAST OF MIAMI ENLIST THE JOYFUL SPECIES.THE SPECIES THAT LIVES ON ITS OWN AND ITS OWN ENVELOPES A LOT OTHER CREATURES.SMILING,FOOLING AROUND,SUN-BATHING,GULPING AND gasping...pooh!
and so does a lot other coastal areas do without the slightest inkling of how the other creatures survive.
"vengeance is mine and i'll avenge it"
-Grrr...

the leaves hustled a bit.night wasps were being the royal guards of the trees.some fire flies helped the stars to throw light on the crust.waves roared as no one was there to play with it.the winds cut a warm slit through the barks....and through the jaguar's flurry black skin.the child didn't know of the cat's presence.she was busy enough in her castle making venture..uh sand castle making venture.
now she bubbles up a puddle of sand-mud and puts it on the top of the defying sand towers.hmm....that would be her tomb.
creech!!!
she zaps around.the trees don't seem to say anything.hey the waves are coming.c'mon little girl raise your boundary,quick.and she starts raising her arch wall.yes,wraps together the sands,brings them together,plasters them with her wet hands and polish,smak,polish,smak and done!
thump,uh ho! fell down...build again.yes this time she goes a little low,hmm clapping the sands between her hands she erects them,goes on circling her amazing castle..the waves come rushing,she wipes her face clean....blue pupils seem to give an angry glance to the Sea-God.but the waves ain't kind hearted.or maybe they are in billy's group.yes,they must be.that day in recess billy had put a dead snake in her tiffin box.naughty billy...na stupid billy.
she can now feel her breaths.the waves come drolling and lo! they just recede back kissing the sand wall's foot.
hmm....they ain't in billy's group.
the white owl stares on while perched on the fragile branch.but the foot steps ain't just staring.they're movin' and they're focusing.the little girl sits unaware of the cat.the cat was hungry.didn't had much luck at the herd of stags.they charged dangerously.but this girl ain't no stag.so no fear.
the night zephyr slowly plays with the pony tail of the girl lifting it up and swinging it.she'd wore her fav frock today.a pink satin with blue and brown bubbles on it.her uncle had gifted it to her on her eighth b'day.she hadn't removed since yesterday.but the jaguar doesnt seem to be interested in that dress.for it'as planning something else beneath the dress.the soft supple skin.and cliche,thats pink too.
it slowly advances leaving the sand sweating under its heavy weight.the little girl was perhaps now planning in which room to keep her barbie.umm...the sea-side..no,the drawing room...perhaps the...wait why not in the bedroom.they both would sleep together.yes,she fears those dark veiled flyin' ghosts that her granny used to tell about.but they can' fly past the high boundries.morever in the night how'll the ghosts see her..she chuckles inside thinkin' this.
ten feet.the claws are ready.six feet.
the hooter owl screaches!the damn vampire bats.they are as good as dead.
she looks around.ah ha...no little girl the cat is fast.no one around.the bushes sit like dumbs.they don't know anything.they've sitting like that for years.
hey what is that.an intruder! an intruder in her castle.the little girl fers none now.she puts her hand inside,ruffles with the sand and pulls it out.the foolish crab.
"you cannot get into my castle this way.get permission first!"
prick,prick,prick and the crab runs away as the little girls threw it far towards the waves.uh! exhausted.
the jaguar can't wait anymore.it moves swiflty coming from behind the bushes.
five feet.adjustable.it takes a swift jump and lands directly on the castle over the head of the little girls.
their eyes meet for a second.the black pupils constrict.the blue ones dilate.
panthera meets sapien.
and with one perfect swip,the jaguar tore off the head and vanished into the deep pines leaving the trail of blood to mark its triumph.the torso of the little girls sleeps there near the castle motionless as obvious.
the jaguar was good.it didn't take the pink frock.she loved it,perhaps the cat too loved it.
the castle was now kissin the sand dune evolved there.
the waves come riding again washing away the new color engracing the heap of sand.
the trees stare on blindly.the leaves flutter on.the bushes are now swinging with the wet blow of coast winds.the Sea-Gods must be sleeping.
the robust sand wall failed to protect its mistress.
sad,sapiens lost!

n o t h i n g

everything is so silent,so motionless.

a silence that makes us hear the violence inside of our mocking self.
a silence that is louder than the faintest crackle.

sometimes in life we take a step back to grace our past,dismembering ourselves in the act.
there we give our shadows a chance to draw slits on our already weary skin....our quixotic silhouettes parade on our already fragile heart.

rhythms of variant times collide and erode away some of our pain..
we think of the good times we had and chuckle under the shelter of forgotten love.
our senses then wish to make a change,they join hands and try to make us breathe...

then arises our alter ego...
he comes and promises us a heart...

..a heart that fears but never dies
a heart that is in gloom but never cries
a heart that gives but takes nothing
a heart that screams but disturbs nothing
a heart that flickers but never fades
a heart that quivers before the tempest but never surrenders..
..if only they knew

never

the window didn't mean to say anything

yet i felt it wanted to .

it was crying tears of sunrays since five o'clock.waking up to the rising sun i never knew to fight all alone the war that people don't have to fight .

for they die at the very start of it .

the war called redemption.i'as just starting to know that i've been so chosen to fight it all that i'll be left with no weapon at the end of it if i survive.

weapons huh....weapons called limbs........

the world is again to cry blood at the knowledge of love that we all know or say we all just know.

i've been so for the last times that i've lived till now.this heart doesn't hurt anymore.it's all bruised and gone.nothing's left to hurt.they say i glanced a bit towards the glamour of the night and sped away in the wrong direction.the pace was too fast.the sweat was too sweet.the sun was so near.the propinquity was never ending.the shadow was so foolish to run with me,i wish it

wouldn't have done so.

i can hear the devils coming,they know they want me.sadly i don't want them to know.

condensed matter is what my skin is now.spears across the wall against which i'm leaning.the truth was never spoken.my mundane world was so crowded yet so void.so full yet so empty.so ner yet so far.i never knew that goodbye would be the last goodbye.poets will try to pen down another poem for me or linguistics will find another name for me.the dusk hour is too long to give way to the night.i walk alone down the lane.two people are behind me they're immersed in their talk.the leaf is so light,the wind feels no pain in blowing it away.the stars try to come out and show me the way.i know they can only try.all is water....so static,so silent.i cover myself up in my shell,the cold wind cuts like a razor....cuts like those words said.....i can hear the wolf in me sleeping.hundred souls screaming inside of me to either kill them or kill myself.

i kill myself.

my redemption will come.my tru calling isn't heard.

i wait in the only place that belongs to me,the only thing left with me,the only person with me

.......i wait in my square place.i wait with my oblique thing.i wait with my silence .

the square place called my grave.

the oblique thing called my silhouette.

the silence called my shadow.

.............they say live.......

.....yes,i'm living.i'm breathing in my sleep.